Wednesday, January 04, 2012

So much to be thankful for!

I wrote this at thanksgiving time and for some reason I never published it so here it is kinda like cleaning out another closet so I can move forward.
Thinking alot about my dad the past few days and missing him so. My heart gets heavy knowing I'll never feel his arms around me to give me a hug. But my life soars when I'm sitting thinking of him and a butterfly flies by today hello. The first month or so I saw a butterfly everyday since my dad passed away. Now I pretty much see a butterfly when I feel the loss of my dad the most. A little something to show me he's still with me where ever I go.
This has been a tough year on me, but yet I smile, I have a great life just on a rocky road!
My sister has been missing! I've struggled with how lonely my life has been without her in it over the last few years. But with her missing and us not knowing had me in a tail spin I try to live my life without regret, I do try to be in her life, it's her life that puts a road block up and prevents our lives from joining. The thought of never seeing her again wow I can't even explain that to put it in words. My thoughts always went to her children what could I do to help them get through what we were all thinking might be the final outcome. My heart was breaking in pieces. Then the phone rings!!! Crystle it's me I'm ok please tell mom I'm ok. OMG I just saw my self on tv tell mom I'm ok! I'm in a rehab! I sat silently listening to her on the phone. My husband almost grabbed the phone from me because I couldn't talk. I kept thinking I must be dreaming.
Much to be thankful for but still kinda sad!!!

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